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To the little sun above
I pray with my little heart
that all the pain will go away
and we can all start anew day
with the morning sun and the evening moon
call it karmer
call it luck
but please, just give us all alil
and make us soar high above.

+--- Watashi ---+

Im Feeling
Nick:tessy, Yukiko
B-day:18th Dec
B-stone:Turquoise Zodiac:Sagi
Hopes:To get into square! as a graphic artist or a musician. If i fail, an anime/manga artist or a japanese translator.
Nightmere:BigSpiders, Suffication/Drowning

+--- Ima ---+

Obsession:computers, japanese, drawing.
J.Song: Arai Akino-SakasamaNoNiji +Mp3+
E.Song:Bon Jovi- LoveMe BackTo Life
Desktop:Bon Jovi

+--- Ima Lyrics---+

By:BonJovi Song:The Distance

Theres a Train out in the distance
Destination still unknown
far away where no ones waiting, so far from home, so far from home

Theres a rose outside your window
the first snow is falling down
like that lonesome whistle blowing
I keep on going, keep on going

Close your eyes and see my blue skies
Braking through these dark clouds
you are the light
in my mind i see your red dress and your arms are reaching
through the night
I'll never give up the fight
I'll go the distance

Theres a thread that runs between us
pulling 'cross this great divide
its only there for the believers
dont stop believing, dont stop believing

Close your eyes and see my blue skies
Braking through these dark clouds
you are the light
in my mind i see your red dress and your arms are reaching
through the night
I'll never give up the fight
I'll go the distance

Theres a neverending story that begins with you and i
like the rose outside your window
dont let it die, dont let it die

Close your eyes and see my blue skies
Braking through these dark clouds
you are the light
in my mind I see your red dress and your arms are reaching
through the night

Close your eyes and see my blue skies
Braking through these dark clouds
you are the light

in my mind I see your red dress and My arms are reaching
through the night
I'll never give up the fight

I'll go the distance

+--- Wish+List ---+

- BonJovi-Poster
- JonsKiss!^.~!
- DVD-DareDevil
- Batteries4GB
- GameHP2nd
- HP5thBook
- GbGame
- NewSharpner


:Zoids Chaotic Century
:Tenchi Muyo

+--- Manga ---+

:Alice 19th
:full Moon Wo Sagashite
:Flame Of Recca
:Boys Next Door
:Random Walk
:Throbing Tonight
:Garasu No Kodouk

+--- Favs ---+

Colour:Innocent, pretty colours. But Blue
Sport: Blitzball!
RealSport:Netball, Archury, Fencing,
Animal:Cuddley ones like Lions, Foxes, wolfs and i have a slight obssesion with white animals
Birds: Owls, Hawks, Golden Egles
Insects:Moths, Butterflies
Jewl: Amber, Quartze, Emerald, Pearl infact all of them!^.^
Objects:Feathers, Art Equip.
Words: Reflect, Feather, Innocent, Passion, Love, Darkness, Light, Beyond, Faith.
Myth.Animal:Dragons and Pheonixes
E.Music:Bon Jovi, Linking Park, RedHot ChilliPepers, EvAscence, Christina Agularo, Enya
J.Music:Utada Hikaru, Gackt, Ayumi Hamasaki, Arai Akino.

+--- Contact ---+

tessra Leonhart

+--- Link+Me ---+

No Direct Linking. If You want to be added as alink to my page send me an email with ur adress and placement of my link me button. also see blogage section for ideas..

+--- Past ---+

- Past Entries -
- Layouts--- V.1 V.2

+--- Fun ---+

- Singing Horses

+--- Songs ---+

Arai Akino- Sakasama No Niji
Ayumi Hamasaki-
Endless Sorrow

+--- Quizies ---+

The Hogwarts House For me is? Gryffindor!
The Colour of my wings is?Blue!
What kind of cute r u?MysteriousCute!
(GirlsOnly)The Element i rein over is?TheMoon
What chocolate Flavour am i?Fudge
My Style is?Casual
what cute creature Am i?
What Mythical Beast Am i?Dont Remember What f-j-artisit Song R u? TheBrillientGreen-HelloAnotherWay
NastyOrNice? Nice
What Type tree?Hornbeam Tree
Chinese Name?
Liu-Shuo{WillowTree; Pleasure,Shining}

+--- Sweeties ---+





Eva Child?SuzuharaTouji
Gundam Chara?Quartre
X chara? Arashi


# koi ni ochiru ?

< # winged ? >

+--- Cliques ---+

scented//Coconut Cake
I hug my pillow!
Duel Mostersx Red'Eyes'Black'Dragon
It's Gotta be the Hair-Squall
True Beauty is on the Inside
I Squaresoft
:: imperfect
My Desert Prince


+Mae+ +Angela+

Friends, People who tag alot and people who i think have talent! ^^ have nice blogs, nice links, nice days! or in some way touched my heart! (if you wish to be in a list on my blog, please see Link Me section.



+--- Linkies ---+


+--- Misc ---+

Wondering MyOwnRadioStation


O-Namae Wa?



YukikoNoBlog tessra
Image abstractanime Layout digik.net

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

officialy moved!!! http://www.hostultra.com/~tessra/XD/ if anything goes wrong , say i get deleted from teh server ^^ its a possibility, i have my reasons why, then...come back here if its still here, and ill probably update on teh situation. so... MOVED! MOVED MOVED! http://www.hostultra.com/~tessra/XD/

Breathed At 10:50 p.m.

Monday, February 9, 2004

currently MOVED / just for now.

Breathed At 04:36 p.m.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

you'know id update more often atleast once a week or somtin if the school computies could go to diaryland.com shme..eh...welp...just thought id say hi and let ya know, negai.tk is ...well i wouldnt say no where near finished ^.^ which is good...but anyway im gonna go check my email now, sorry iv not updated, anybody that did come here often has probably stoped now, i dont think i'll be replcing the layout ;.;.......mata ne

Breathed At 09:22 a.m.

Thursday, November 6, 2003

i supose your wondering, "what happend here?"...let me state this profesionaly
few...okay hope that made sense. my ever so beloved yayutk is stoped too, but not finished let me let u in on the -plans. heres what i gotta do. find a web archive..personaly i dont think there are any, i could be wrong but what webmaster/mistiss in their right mind would let out about 50mb or even 1gb (wohoo!! wish!) for free to lots of ppl they dont know ^_^' eheheh. umm..also..i have to make a layout or download one for here..i personaly want to make one but i dont think that'll be happening, i could do it, i just dont feel like it. altho i should cuz that'l be another download file at yayutk..course i hope by then iv found a place to store the download files, itd mostlikely be with the image files for this too. its really anoying that you'v got to be loged in at fateback to veiw the files and use them, meaning no outsiders can get files. So..use downloaded layout for this diary, find storage space, make layout for personal diary ( yep did i say, this is going to be my school diary the thing i can update at school about school mostlikely, yes i think that might involve my personal life but my second diary will be a bit more, tuned up wit stuff an..etc..), probably out of the kindness of my heart ill fix up trixies too. perhaps to insure i dont get deleted again from angelfire...i could use the layout i put up for trixi for somtin else..i guess i better get some fake site ideas ..^_^ hmm...not nesersery fake...hmm..i donno..anyway. maybe i should just tell ya a table.
OK. make Job advertisements for Pet portraits,dog walking. make personal site with a personalized layout, including fun things to keep people coming back and a way of intergrating job information into it so that people can learn about prices and times and more indepth information. reopen yayutk, make new layout for yayutk one that is not infringing copyright also (oops) also find a source which dosnt mind you taking their stuff,(just stumbled upon another site with copyright talks) I WOULD KILL!! FOR A SITE WHICH DOSNT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT COPYRIGHT!!! ::faintu:: its not fair!..um where were we, add new content to yayutk, gotta start workin on it, make layout for second diary, start using second diary, get over cold and hope i to regain hearing (theres somtin funny wit my ear, i cant hear to well..strange + i have flu) did i mention finding a free archive? onece everything is slightly back on track start finding places to advertise. also..get email sorted out since im going through one of those crisis when u dont know what email ur using for what! >.< mou mou! i donno what im doing anymore im starting to feel like im repeating myself...i guess what im trying to say is...i feel like theres so much to do, specialy with the art project for school and still having to do school work an having to go to school! even tho im off sick at the moment an don feel like doing anything!! ahhh!!! really...remember that time i said there were going to be big changes but then i said forget..well i think those changes are gonna happen stil...in time.. these are the real changes..also..im gonna be givin out sim stuff^.^ i finaly can make cloths not very good but i'll learn...im gonna learn. i supose ill start having a BIGER NEGATIVE atitude to this when i go back to school...i think im not gonna go tomoz either. im no where near finished on my art project and im supose to start painting tomoz..so i thought i heard. Maybe...even tho its late...im gonna start ont he ideas. well i donno what im doing now, but i have an idea for trixi..perhaps..if she dosnt mind..i could put up that blog layout she wanted in my space next to my yayutk and put up all the images...and find a way to link it through to her pitas, so her site would have a different adress but she'd still update it through pitas. we'll see...we'll see.

Breathed At 10:45 p.m.

Friday, September 19, 2003

okay whos the smart guy?..mmm?...^_^ tehe u have no idea what im going on about, well...someone keeps sending me funny messages like...boo!did that scare u? ^_^ tehe..since i like never say anything back on the thingy perhaps i should take it down, or at least make a quick emailing thingy...one wit a reply place..cuz i donno who sends teh stuff O.o ^_^ tehe im sorry iv not updated..i just havnt felt like it..i could be updating twice a day but..iono..i just don feel like it. i was thinking of moving to diarlyland since they do it in entries insteada this big long list, an they use the name atchully for somthing, but im not sure anymore cuz i wont be able to access it at school hmm...well..im gonna go..i made a prezzi for kat from Tokyo-tenshi.net/pikapika they do somtin called pika pika avatars an there so cute i made one of myself but made a mistake an now the earth moves when i blink ^.^ anyway heres teh place to see trixa/kat soz i said kat b4..its a habit callin her both..Trixa No Diary anyway im gonna go so i dont miss a new program i wanted to look at..its called dead like me..its a bout a girl who dies an is destined to become a grim reaper ^_^ tehe sounds fun..it reminds me of pom the panda..a manga a lil one i once read..where dis lil guy in a panda suit dies an he meets this girl grim reaper who has to take him away but he has to tell his girlfreind that hes dead cuz she dosnt know an..well really theres no comparison is there? i havnt even seen the programe yet, demo...mata ne!~ im gonna go now! bai bai minnasan!

Breathed At 08:25 p.m.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

uh...yay! ppl have been sending me quiestion an stuff, but im not organised for a question answering thing but, okay. some asked if i was japanese, no sorry im not ^_^ i just like japanese stuff alot!! an 2ndly, someone sent...yu-gi-oh..i donno what the question is but ill say that..yu-gi-oh is an anime usualy shown on sky.. about a boy who finds a curesed ejyption object an this whole thing about cards, an the dark realm. suposidly based on somtin to really do with ejypt, some kinda dark cards. but nows not a good time to explain this, my dads pestering me to go to bed so, i don think theres much more i need to say anyway. an also..i like yu-gi-oh ^_^ mata~

Breathed At 01:04 a.m.

Friday, September 12, 2003

i feel so alone. i missed school today, i broke down yester night..mm i like the sound of that, is that even a word...yester-night...it was...i was. i was doing my dt homework, i had just finished my art..i still has my maths to do, i had to create a keyring for dt, itd taken me most the night to do my art homework, a cover for an album, an i still had more to do, i hadnt coloured it..i couldnt do any more..so i went on to my dt..to make a keyring..i couldnt fit any jap symbols on to it, there was nothing i could think of that would fit..i went mad..i..started...well..then my mum...she went into a fit. i didn like the way she was talking to me, like she was in a fit, an it got me...angry...i cant stand anger..i nenver get anger...if i do..i cry..like crazy..an i did..i cryed an cryd..an i was only trying to explain everything to okaasan, an then i said the number three...my fav number..how about that for my keyring..silly thing to brake down over..but in my mind i said..it should be 4..an i looked at sandys photo on the fireplace...it hurt in side really really badly..i couldnt controle myself..i missed her so much, her silky sandy fur..::sniff:: an i had a fit about school...i didn mention sandy..an mum got all rough with me ;.; she was like grabing my head an pulling me against her but she was doing it all really rough an i really didnt like it an she was acting as tho she had gone into a sit, i cant really discribe it..an i pushed her away an moved to the other side o the sofa an she hit me...i..cant remember the last time she hit me, an i tried to ignor the pain...i was too hurt in side..i said i didn like the way she was in a fit an she was like "IM NOT IN A FIT" an she was actin really crazy an she went to bed an left me..to rub my arm where she hit me, i stayed down staires a bit to try to recooperate...i didn know what hd just happend..what to do...it was like nearly 3am.. i went to bed an eventualy did my maths homework an went to sleep. when i woke up this morning i really didn want to go to school...i couldnt stop thinking about how i missed sandy, whats the point of these human obssesions, how i shouldnt be pulling sandy into this subject. i think this moring..when i was semi consus...i think i might have said..i miss sandy to mum.. when i woke up properly i felt like i had said the work sandy..like an echo..an..a..a left over feeling on your lips. ;.; itai...it hurts...it aches..in my heart..i ...disobayed mum this morning..i wouldnt do anything she said..i just pulled the blankets back over an went back to sleep..when i woke up it felt bad..to have missed school..an ppl would be coming from school soon. this year is important..its year 9...an..were gonna have sats i think. im...not sure..i missed art...i missed history..i missed dt...i missed french an english. i dono what im doing anymore, i never have a good atendeance record..i miss'd to many days..either cuz of the bus or..i someimtes did do a lil skiving. its all my fault..everything ..in this life. this is the 1st day iv missed...an so..it begins. i hope not. i dont wonna..make things go wrong again. but.. im loosing the will...i..um..i come home..theres no sandy to be carefull not to wake..theres no sandy to hug an stroke an keep me warm an comfy an to say hi an wag her tail an sniff me to see where i'v been today who i'v met. to say..how are you? please don leave me alone..can i sleep on ur bed? are you asleep yet louise?..to come an pop in on me on her way down in the middle of the night...sleeping soundly ..it seemed she was saying...or..louise louise! i need to go out! i need to go out!....im thirtsy, may i have a bowl of water? please some water...no not milk..im not a cat..but now that your offering ...wheres dady? hey pupy wheres momy? pupy where u going?...i always figued she called me pupy sometimes..cuz i came after her ^_^ an dad used to have me an sandy both as his pupy an would do a voice over of sandy asking him quiestions like..how come the pupys going to school dady? will i go to schoo dady?...how come the pupys got to legs dady an iv got 4. ^_^ tehe it always seemd like her..even tho she was so old..she was apart of the family..i miss her alot..she was my world an i never knew it. and now..why do we humans have strange obssesions with learning? whats the piont of going to school...to learn an grow an get a good job...whats the point of having a job...to get money..why on earth do we need money...cuz it buys u things..why should u have to buy things... ... ...we learn..cuz humans have a strange obssesion with working an jobs an money an..why cant we all live in harmonay..this dosnt sound how it did b4 in my head..iv probably missed somthing. but like..we go whats the meaning of life? er...donno..wrong!! we all know!! we've always known!! but..everyone just forgets...this life is a test...so i think the bible says..but iv never read the bible..but im catholic...so..well..most religions say just about the same thing..so if this life is a test..an its a test on our selfs..then why? why do we build technology an learn an put each other through so many torments, whats the piont!!? an some religions say its a journey..if its a journey..still..why..why all the jobs an technology an all the working...an all the money..an ..school...an im nto just saying this for the kids sake of dissin school..i really...dont understand...or..well..i feel like i do understand..an its come to the point when..it seems worthless...yes..we understand it..but we push it aside...an...this isnt R.E's fault..but im gonna refer to my last class...yes..the gareden of eden..thats where we shoulda been..there..it needs no knologe no work..only maintaing the animals an the enjoyment an pleasure of a loving life, a life of bueaty, of no realization..a place..of peace an rest of mind. but this obssesion we've created!! this..mainingless life i feel im living..i ..mhm..do well at school..get a job as an artist or somtin..or i'd be doing a job i didnt like an be spending most my time on my own things like art an stories an stuff that wouldnt get me anywhere do any good..thats why i need an artist/ story somtin..kinda job.. or..im ...im..well..im finished otherwise. i feel like i have no goals, i feel like im completed an so alone, all i have now..is material..i'll lose what i have left of my family oneday..i dont even know my family...an..i have a big family..an yet..i hardly know my cuzins..i cant even remember there names..i know hardly anyone outside my parents..an sometimes...do i even know my parents..im so alone..in a dark corner..iv been there once b4 under a love situation...that one 1st boyfreind that turned my life upside down..even my own mind was a battle field..i didnt know who i was or what i was doing, i was lost in a maze..just cuz of him..i changed forever..but yet im greatfull..it made me the pereson i am today..in my mind..i can think more...but yet now..i feel like i cant think atall..like the worlds slipping away today..im just trying to bide my time..learn jap get good site so i get emails to ocupie myself with, a hobby, become an artist..so i can bide my time with the stuff i like best, the stuff im obssessed with myself, so i dont waste my time an i end up being able to suport myself...an..a family..uh..i spoke to my mum today about how i felt..she mentioned this..a family..im loosing faith in man kind..im..i..well..i know im just a lil teenager..with lil crushes..but..no one will ever like me..im just too different....an if anyone ever dose..theyre...theyre gonna have to cope with a lot...especialy brakedowns...cuz im weak against sorrow..sorrow is everything to me..sorow is what an who i am..its a bueatiful feeling..but yet.so...hmm..i just feelm like i wonna move on..theres nothing left here for me..apart from to see where i get to to see how things turn out, to bide my time untill death, to...to enjoy life..to have fun...its a sort of biding..but how can i do that?..im just gonna..im just gonna bide my time in game worlds thats all..i never go out..i never know where to go..theres no one i perticulary really really want to go anywhere with. im just not botherd anymore..id rather die than live this way..all i have left is to learn an enjoy..but enjoyment dosnt last..enjoyment dosnt stay..an it comes at a price..an..i dont really care for it anymore..i dont really care about anything...just..to know what the point is..just to know what im going to do next..last night..when i had a feeling of what was gonna happen..i sank to the level of saying to myself...well..u've got history..with the nice looking teacher..yeah...nice looking teacher..gotta go to school..i guess it didn work..at least i know im not that low. but sometimes..i feel like i am that low..me an trixa..we talk more an more about how hot boyz r..an shes copying me with my tastes now...an..i donno..im starting not to care...i cant belive its me thats saying those things..but its only cuz iv pushed myself back..an im biding my time, if i werent biding my time....i'd be...gone...by now...if i wasnt scared...im not scared of dying...im not scared of living..i dont wonna keep living..an i donno about dying..i kinda would llike that..to get to what comes next..to gods job..but then..ill never know where i got to..id never...never get married..have kids..but..i guess...im just scared of the pain..will it hurt if i dye...what if there is nothing after death? im sure there is..im sure god has a job for us..but i'd be cheating on the test..i'd have failed..i'd have took a short cut out. whats the point..is this how its ment to be..i dont think so. the garden of eden..but then..the technology is addictive..the games the bueaty..the feeling. why am i saying these things? i guess i just wanted to say what was thinking how i was feeling..should i stay on school..should i try my best not to skive? to do my best at sats...i supose i should, so that i can get a good job..the say..dont take care, life is more. its right..perhaps if i did terribly..i would have a more interesting life..but perhaps im sick of the crying..no..its addictive to.. demo ima.. i know that i would regret it..live a life with no regrets...tomoyochans saying..ots true..to be happy..live with no regrets..but then..things are so simple..so clean..so clear..hmm..it was better like that. mum says its cuz im teenager that im like this now..that, thats why i have so many quiestions...no..there not questions..there answers...but the question is...what do i do next?...........................................................................................................................ima...............i'v...nearly felt like this b4 but now, now its complete..this feeling, now i know what it means, but by tomorow ill have to shuve it behind me again, and get on, or ill lose to myself..an ill get lost. hmm if i was to go, my parents, my family, i need to stay for there happiness, its not just me im affecting, but in death, you affect all, the children you would have had, your family, the changes in other ppls lives, the effects you would have made. your not just commiting cuicide....your murdering you family line. i could never commit suicicde anyway, but iv often thought about it, i remember when i was younger, an iwas walking with my mum to school..i was crosing the road..an it hit me..if i stood still..it would all be over..an i stood there..not knowing..what to do next..an my mum pulled me out the road, i had been stuck in thought, i had..so...been tempted to give in like that, but now i know that its cheating its not the right thing to do its not an option!!..so now what? i bide my time, which is becoming so hard..what do i bide my time with?..learning japanese, doing the net. hmm..even that biding of time is imposible really..homework..thats the only biding of time thats nesisery..,but i dont want to!! i dont want to do homework anymore!! dont they know most kids work best at school!? some dont..some its the other way round..but why dont they find that out or somtin..i guess what im sayings silly there..yea..i agree..baka... soem times i am a baka.. i just..that biding is not satisfactory..my mind dosnt want ot have to cope..no perhaps im being a baka again..i need biding..homework is perfect..demo..yet..i wish not to do it..why? why? i donno....i dono anymore..it matters..matter so..that you don wonna do it.it helps your future...it helps ur job..everything depends..so i should..but it puzzles me why i dont want to..the thought of death is a cheat..i must survive through this..ill bide my life with somthing..ill keep going..with acts so good you'll never know..::sigh:: im so happy sometimes..when im around people that dont remind me of myself..of my feelings of my thoughts..a place where nothing matters exist around them..i'll cheer up..but it'll linger evermore wont it? will it ever go away?!! has this ever happend to you?..what did you do?..dose anyone ever use tags anymore? dose anyone care anymore? dose anyone read anymore? iv lost the hope of love, i dont know who or why i love anymore..its so confusing..iv lost the biding will, iv lost the will to live, iv lost the will to go further an be better, iv lost the will to..to eat..im not hungry..i still havnt eatin..an i thought about starving myself as punishment for my ways..perhaps id realize my life..the things iv been givin..when there are less lucky people out in the world that cant even eat..you shouldnt waste what u have here ..not ur life. well i better go or ill be writting for even longer...Mata~ ::listening to in the end by linkin park, whhislt being so alone..even online..now..as time slips by so quickly::

Breathed At 9:57 p.m.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

What is your past life? How did you die? by whisperinghope
WayFrom a broken heart.
Past LifeHuman.
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Breathed At 09:19 p.m.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

at school again!! >=) bwahahahah im in it again!! an an ^_^ we've had to line up in alpha order -.-" im at the beggining of the register..mou..why me? owell!! ^_^ tehee wellp what should i say, im next to a broken fan an iv been over powerd for its use!! ^-^" welp everyones saying im cybering now whihc as u can say im not so here im gonna show them!

Breathed At 03:03 p.m.

Friday, September 5, 2003

Hey!! ^_^ My Form tutor just read my diary, i decided to let her. she likes it ^^ yay!my friends were just messing around on here so now i cant give an entry!! >.< so bai!

Breathed At 09:22 a.m.

Friday, September 5, 2003

Hey!! ^_^ My Form tutor just read my diary, i decided to let her. she likes it ^^ yay!my friends were just messing around on here so now i cant give an entry!! >.< so bai!

Breathed At 09:22 a.m.

Friday, September 5, 2003

Hey!! ^_^ My Form tutor just read my diary, i decided to let her. she likes it ^^ yay!my friends were just messing around on here so now i cant give an entry!! >.< so bai!

Breathed At 09:22 a.m.

Thursday, September 4, 2003

hey!! ^____^ lovely day! teehee um um well its quite late now isnt it? gosh i said after form on wensday..me tinks..if my new form tutor , the best english teacher there is in the whole universal network of dimensions! tehee ^_^ if she'd like to see my diary, i know thats abit..overboard but..i think its kinda boring in form time an all i have is..well..you an me! yay ^_^ so so..um..um..i thought i could show it her so she could see the pretty layout! think she'll want to read? ::blink:: oh i donno...think i should let her?...offer her a read? ^_^tehee i think she thinks its a bit odd having a diary which is personal for the world to see, but im not too bothered really..i'd love the world to know whats going on in my life, not that theres too much. i better be carefull of spelling mistakes anyway! ^_^ tehe an english teacher! did i spell that right?..::faint::..oh oh in it i couldnt stop colouring my new name tag! ^_^ i really really wanted to finish it an the printers are'nt colour, i did a search for japan on clip art an i found this really cute bunny looking up through the grass at the sun an the clouds- and afar bambu..(spelling? ^_^) swaying with a golden haze of the suns reflect, and dangling from its branches the art of old and new, some mirriors for their religion, their shrines, and wishes too. yay! ^_^ poem!..i just made that up, speaking of poems were doing poems in english. im not to sure what to expect cuz like..i'v not done to many poems an i'v moved up to set 2 sooooo what will zit be zite, zat is zee question. anyway i was colouring still as the bell went then i hurried an packed up an an gave it to sir an sir started to say somthing but i interupted him..woops..didn mean to..but i just said that i coloured it..an he said.."oh, for amoment then i thought you found a colour printer" tee hee hee ^_^ im as good as a printer then!..wait..is that a good thing? ::blink blink:: well he really ment it cuz he was he really was going to say that..if i hadnt interupted..^-^ ya'know i forgot to colour the sun..i have a grey sun..owell i don think ya really notice it at first.um lets see..i better end shorter here but ill leave with saying, i think me an natily one of the new girls, i think were geting on ok! ^_^ yay i really hope we can become good freinds cuz i think shes really nice an i luff her acent!! ^_^ she came from canada ..whoa shocking..iv never atchully MET someone from canada..had an internet friend once but i keep geting the feeling he was chinese cuz he went by the name of chineseEric but with those horrible lettering LiKE ThIs but FaR WoRsE! ^_^tehe oh i shouldnt have done that..thats against the rules of the groups i'v joined.ok well im sure they don go checking all the members sites all the time..probabaly not atall ^_^ oh i just wonna say cuz now im realy going to go, that, i had my 1st lesson of german today, i think so far it sounds easyer than french..but miss forgot to tell us what the other phrases she used ment ^_^" wonder if she ment to do that? an i think french has goten harder..i cant remember a thing!..um..im gonna go for german for GCSE i think, i hope. yea..i tink tats a gu-an-tag-en-i-de-gan tehee my german made up way of saying good idea! ^_^ tehe ok well gotta go!! Mata ne!~ (from english to french to jap to german..::dizzu:: no way im gonna know how to speak my own language! ^_^)

Breathed At 09:50 p.m.

Thursday, September 4, 2003

im at school right now iv snuck on! !mwahahaha!! mr eastwood is..um..well..we were making a joke clint eastwood. were all having a laugh, hes not saying names right an he wants us to repeat our names an say somthing about us, i was like err...err..errm...i like japan..tehee ^_^ oh my!!! ::gasp:: u'll never guess whos siting next to me!! "HE" is just right next to me, i said i wasnt going to like him anymore an i was going to try my best not to feel that way about him cuz i don think he'll ever like me the way i like him..its sooo hard, im not looking at him....im doing my best to face the other way..or at the computer screen now ^_^ tehe..ooooooh ::dies:: well..just gotta get on with class, hey im doing this in full veiw of mr...clint tehee..eastwood..hes not botherd..::blink blink:: i wonder.. hey ^-^!! i just know hes gonna be the best! meaning! more updates! tehee yay!! my diary is going to be perfectly intergrated with my life. op! he'll finish the register soon better go, got a lesson to be at! ::focuses all atention on the room. Bai bai!

Breathed At 03:02 p.m.

Wednesday, September 3, 2003

Konnichiwa Minnasan!! im..im..im in school right now!! oh oh its our 1st day in year 9! its ok..my class are very well behaved than i usualy think they are, but thats only my opinion, hey i moved up in english to set 2 an an my old teacher is my new form tutor!! ^.^ oh she's the best!! mrs hunt is my favourite teacher!, an an im in the computer room! its my new form room!! wai wai!!::bounsu bounsu:: which means!..more computer! just tobad that i cant click any links that have behavoire decorations like this layout, im thinking of moving to diary land, hey since i dont have alot to do on the computers at school an there a lil funny that mean!! Jaaaaaan! (tada in japanese) more entryies an like b4 kookoo (school i think or is it kookoosei? or is that pupil? ) ::dizzu:: an probably entrys after..x2 the entryies! this is gonna be fun!! ^________^ big smile. Oh mis whiting my head of year! O.o shes nice ^_^ shes here an she asked me about my key, they cant remember wether they moved the lockers next to the form room or not, r they our lockers or r they not zat is zee questions!! mwahahaha!! ^_^ tehe. well im gonna go find somthing else to do, oh oh we have too new girls in our form..lets see not to self! must remember! the nice one wit the glases is natali i think an the other pretty girl is called layla, there nice names. ^_^ well mata!!~

Breathed At 09:51 a.m.

Monday, September 1, 2003

im listening to ayumi hamasaki- forgivness, i feel like im being taken on a winding journey with the music. you know, you take things for granted, the time you share, the things you own, the things you can acomplish, the things you have access to, the things you dont realize, even the things that are your goals. y'know...the time i had my beloved pet, my dog, sanday..eversince i was born, she was like a sister, i relize now that i thought time would never end, im a good artist, i had thought to draw a picture of her, in all my life i had never thought b4 of it, an coincidently...i drew one finaly just b4 she fell ill. that time was so precious..an i never knew. i sat in this chair in the dark... an was frightend by a shadowy figure in the hall, standing staring, i finaly got the courage to call it over, to turn on the light, it was sanday, it was b4 she fell ill, that time was precious..i was scared..but so happy she had scared me..the emotions ..the feelings, they didnt last..and now shes gone...but i wonder now, did i ever say directly to her that i loved her..my sister. and what about zak, my alsation..he was just in someway a pup..we hadnt had him long, he was a funny thing..5 years old...an he...left. sanday knew somthing had happend, she was an old girl..an she needed company..did i ever even think about zak that much, did i ever tell him i loved him, he apeard to my parents in some form, the step he used to bang to my dad an my mum atchully saw him...but not me..he never came to me..an niether has sanday. the time we take for granted, but thats not all...our goals...you never hear of this, you never think of this...i never have, our goals we take for granted..a life without a goal a urning is a meaningless one, one that feels like its unlivable..my art..i never used to think i was good..i used to scrible i was no good..it was ok..but over the years i met anime..i met japan..i met final fantasy. i began to draw dbz..i wanted to write the whole story..know b4 time..i wanted to draw the characters in a lil booklette..i sorta did..its in a heap in a dusty old box now..unloved un cared..un finished..y'know..i..never thought myself to be a good artist but that drawing of lil tiny pieces of paper..for a lil time sparked somthing..i never took any notice of it at that time..but it did somthing to me..i never realy drew as good b4 then..an i realized a wonderus technique..through the time i loved dbz..i would search the earth in that time to know all i could..but i found better things i learnt of new things an dbz faded..i will always love it even tho i dont have access to it...but then again..i do..i have a point..but im not there yet, i learnt of japan i learn of anime..i learnt of wonderus things then final fantasy..a playstation came into my hands...it was bueatiful..how they had drawn. i never drew anything of final fantasy i still have'nt..i didn feel the need..it was a goal...but as i drew lil things..ppl were amazed..but not one of them..not one of them said..you can do better..its not perfect enough..none of them..it was a goal to become better..and now only by myself have i been pushed to become better..but realy..its not what i wanted it like..i wanted to become an artist in the final fantasy games, it was so beatiful..that started a new door..i wanted to create..i started to remember myself as a younger child...my fasination of pretty eligant innocent dresses that spun an twirled an were so pretty..i remember now..i still think it is wonderfull an bueatiful..but..if i hadnt had the spark to become an artistic person..would i have wanted to become a dress designer...i think i would have, my mind lyes in the basin of creativity..i want to create..i must create..i..i have started to feel as if i no longer need to be a better artist..even tho myself i know im not perfect..theres not perfection in my art..its not too bad..but its not..its nearly as good as a true artist..still no one says..it could be better...no one!! no one pushed me! an one isnt enough!! an..its too late now...its already taken controle...::sigh:: i.. look out the window an times gone by so quickly i used to have anime an manga as my goal..i obtained access to manga..an...i never realy read much to be honest...i kinda...calmed..it started to loose its place as a goal..i took it for granted..but at the same time..i felt like my lifes goal was complete an i found myself going on to anime..now i have access to that to be honest i half always did with winmx..so..if i had access..why did i never take ahold? it was no longer....so..well..now i'v gone onto web-design..now i want to..CREATE! yet again create!! i dont know everything ..i never will cuz i dont have a good memory on stuff..i now have it in my power to do my dream..sorta...i have the place... Here theres not much there is there...an i want to work..i want to make it perfect..but then...this feelings going to die..i'll move onto somthing else..it always happens...but...theres nothing to move onto..an..its become a dangerus road im on now in my life..i...well..this time i have..im taking for granted..im a kid taking a big step forward into some sense of responsibility that i always wanted...i have aplace to create..an collect..but after its made..ill be left with the lil things..itll be calm an quiet wont it? i'll have a sorta schedual..ya'know..get updated stuff..add more..have emails hopefully..update my diary..go back to trying to learn japanese...theres just one probablem...after this long journey...i..dont know where to go next..an when im older i wont have this freedom of this time..ill be working for real..no luxary..no time for what i want..and...final fantasy..im starting to belive its a family not public kinda thing..theres no other place i wonna go..but now..this dangerus road..i..dont care about school anymore..i just dont care!! it has no importance to me! i know i must do my best to get my goals....goals....what goals!!! I HAVE NO GOAL!! IM STARTING NOT TO CARE ABOUT BEING AN ARTIST! IF I DONT FEEL LIKE BEING BETTER AT IT!! I TRY AN TRY!! AN NO ONE SAYS A THING!! NO ONE NO ONE!! IS COMENTATING!! no one! ::sniff:: is pointing me in the right direction..and its too late! my mind feels like im being drawned!..i..im all alone..love dosnt matter either now...i can dream an read an see..its as good as real life now it seems..an..it dosnt matter more cuz it only gets in the way of your carreer..say if i had to move contry...but..do i wonna become an artist...why not a dress designer..im no good at fabrics..i could learn..but i fear after so long i would run dry..i would take up my time with my own artwork an stories and websites still an my clothes would go nowhere cuz we dont live in a final fantasy world of brilliant an bueaty..yes we do...but no one takes the time to see it..an if its not seen its not improved oh how we could pave the streets in wood inside see trhough cement to keep it hygenic an the houses...pale with golden beams...or even..our ships our rockets..could be mohogeny an gold..like in things like..far scape an andromida..put some bueaty style into it..why am i saying this? iono..the only option i feel like i should take is an artist..but would i even get very far i donno..i would improve..if i felt the big need again..from stick drawings to the big page! ;.; after i do my site..ill go to downloading stuff..but i dont feel a big need too..i feel like i have no childhood goal...an i feel less a care for school..i don feel like i need to or can improve in someways..i feel like i'v done my best..i'll go through somedays..an i'll procrastinate with homework whilst i sit here an stare at the screen thinking..i have no goal..what do i wonna be..an artist? a musician on a piano taking ppl through the bueatifull emotions i've felt through a story..so creative so bueatifull..its the same for the artist if i joined a game company or my own anime etc..what about a dress designer..make ppl wear different bueatifull clothes..i would run dry i know surely..cuz its about the ppl in reallity, what about an aurthor..i cant keep ppl in a story like j.k rowling..i could do my own ilistrations and get better at the writing..yes..its still an open option in ym mind..but i feel no need..i feel like a blank page..i feel like everything i'v been threw is taken for granted..the only thing i charish is my emotions..i wonna go threw it all over again since i feel no big need to get to somewhere i cant..theres no where else i wonna go..in my mind. most of it probably dosnt make sense..all i want...is to..create...to keep...to lead ppl on a journey..to let them feel the bueatifull things i'v felt in emotions...let them all see something bueatyfull an transform our own world..our technolodgy could be pretty just like our world..an be harmonius.. i want to..know that i'v created somthing bueatifull an pass the time by making more..i dont wonna settle..i don wonna get so depressed ever again!! i have bad memories an it feels like the sorrows all coming back even tho nothings happened..i wonna cry so badly..i keep crying over nothing..i wonna let ppl see my emotions..but somtimes i get stuck an show none cuz..cuz..i dono what to do. when im nervous. oh...how i want a goal that i cant reach..that i wonna find my way there again..im taking everything for granted..i took a goal for granted..but when you have a strong goal..u have a strong sense of self..right now...i feel..so alone..so..no goal..i have some..but there nolonger strong..an i have a feeling..inside..that im gonna make the wrong choice and im going to fail...an fall so far...im gonna be a deprsessed adult..wich wont be safe for me..specialy 1st time round..i fear i may start to drink alil...im hoping and praying now..that iwill have the curage to see all an think rationaly as i do today. you know..somtimes....if you cant see all...then when you u can..hmm..its better when you cant see all..what will happen when the human race knows everything? nothing...there will be no where to explore..nothing knew to learn..no excitment..nothing..maybe its better when we have things outa reach..and every moment means somthing...i feel like iv been threw a life time..i feel like i'v reached my goal..for..i have the personality i wanted..i never belived i was like how i wanted to be..but inside..i was just reaching out...i do exist inside..i am how i wanted to be..its just leting it be seen on the outside thats the problem..specily whent he outside is where...well no one else is alike..it makes it difficult. and..painfull..i cry so much inside....that no one sees..an for it too be seen..ppl would just look at u an be like..whats up wit her? werido strange..ya'know...its so difficult in this day an age..i dont want to be like them! i dont want to be like anyone!! i want to be myself!! and always stay myself!! and always have a journey to go on!! your supose to settle when your older..when its becoming the end of your life..where you can look back on all the time you been threw an smile..for the hard times and the bad..i want this time to pass...but then..i dont want it to..beacuse i'll have to go back to school..i love school..to learn..but i feel like theres nothing worth learning now..like theres now job im enthroaling towards..want to go so badly..my goals feel lost!!..for this part of my life...im going to have to try to make my goals stronger!! some...how...these are the only goals i ever wanted an ever realy need..an theyre...so tired now..im writing to much..i guess i better get to what i wanted to say today..well anyway i hope u know how i feel but now lets make myself alil angry...i heard today that FFXI...u need a cable modem..thats expected..but lets just put a price to a lot of things..imagine the prices of..the game...the acces fee..the monthly!!fee!! the cable modem!! an stuff!!..i cant belive sqaure-enix..! i think its them thats doing this..but..an access fee? an monthly fee?! ::blink blink:: i cant aford that!!why a monthly fee?! why an access fee?..i mean....sure a fee for access i can understand that..cuz they need alil money for the online networking but a monthly..isnt that going a bit too far..i donno if i'll ever get to play ffxi now..theres noway im gonna be able to aford it.. i don go to fencing cuz its costs 2.50..alil money off the idea of a pension for my parents when there old that i don wonna be responsible for..but ..i cant beleive this..its just so..so much moneys gonna be involved an iwas so looking forward to it! online gaming is the future..an..the futures gonna be so expensive i can just see it..oh..why...why?...why r u going to do this to all us ff fans?! did square merge with enix...i don like enix now..an..r they the same makers as star ocean-till the end of time, that game looks so wonderfull an ireally want it. but still..i have'nt much more to say, just thought i'd let everyone know theres going to be an acces an monthly fee...korosu!! ::Sniff:: its a shame i cant feel true anger...i just get upset if i do..but if i could..i would be mad at them...owell..its the way life is..my mum..my okaasan...she said..she had somtin come in the post about ntl cable modem for ps2..an she was saying u need money for everything an its just crap!! O.o she was calling square crap!!! ::faintu:: my beloved square-soft where for art thou? why couldnt square-SOFT do it instead? is it gonna be the same?..well..i better stop this long entry an think about my reasons for living..an ppl..don take your goals for granted...share them with ppl that are at high standing points in there life..cuz i bet really..that ther're feeling lonely..the lil ppl..tehe..its hard to beleive..they have such along way to go..an they'lle go on such a journey in there life full of goals..they don need goals after goals being shared with them truely..intill they've reached there high point on there goal..when they start to feel lonely..i had never thought about it b4..i never thought i could happen..a not careing..so minnasan....everyone..keep on going! keep on being enthusiastic!! keep getting better!! dont let yourself fall into the same whole!! you can do it!! keep moving on!! keep going!!..i'll find my way outa this hole some how..but i fear im going to live a quieter life now..it was already quiet..but my innner soul is going to be quieter..i guess ill probably focus stuff on the outisde world..like my freinds more...when this last task is complete..well...mata~

Breathed At 09:45 p.m.

Saturday, August 9, 2003

ok realy quick update cuz of the time, well, its true i kinda did desert my freinds ;.; ::sniff:: but im sorry to all. i really am. i didnt mean to but as yumi herself admited in an entry, the bloging comounity is dying like so..i was kinda alil bored but what i mean is i'v not had alot of time an i never know what to tag about, gomen nasai ^_^' um..anyway its late im going away to gran an grandads for two weeks when im back i'll tell you about alot of kakkoi stuff i found recently, such asa whiteboard ^.~ u gotta hear what i gotta give links too, and um probably a long update or somtin so, don plan anything for teh net an i finish early ya got some spare time! what we all need! hope u have a good holiday, an keep safe an lovable! ^_^::huggles:: an to kat hope ya had a good time ,sorry i didn add anything to ya blog, but to get more sufers you should tag around other ppls tag boards an make freinds or no surfers! so make freinds..friends! ..so everyone.if kat trys ta bee freinds sorry for her behavy but plz take an interest in her. shes on holiday at teh mo but should be back soon kathys diray/trixa an when i come back when i get time theres gonna be a slight change in my net life, hopefully cuz i got plans ^.~ usfull ones ^_^ tehe so mata~

Breathed At 02:55 a.m.

Sunday, August 3, 2003

uh..i just felt like bloging again, its just..yumichans got alovely new layout Plugy demo...i was just looking at all the stuff she says about herself an stuff, an an..in her tomodachi section..i realized i wasnt there, perhaps she dosnt visit here anymore...i just feel...realy..::sniff:: i hope shes still my freind. perhaps she just forgot the link, or got bored of me O.O....now that thought just hurt ::tear:: why did i have to think that...i hope shes still my freind...even tho i did eat her brain once ^_^tehe...::toiki:: she probably just forgot the link..i hope. hmm..maybe its cuz i don tag anymore..i don tag many places atall now, only trixa cuz shes new an i know her from school, an joey i tag the most out of net freinds, even tho it realy don seem it dose it?. i hope yumichans still my freind, anyway i might edit again later...mata~

Breathed At 04:21 p.m.

Sunday, August 3, 2003

konnichiwa minnasan, i was planning on changing my layout. Demo..Trixa/Kathy chose the same layout as me! ^_^ so like, when i put it up here, were gonna have matching layouts. i think we should be like sister/sibling sites cuz we know eachother from school an that an i prettymuch introduced her to this side of the voyed ^_^tehe the net i mean. i think kats been talking to herself on her tag board...::a good detective:: theres no way they could talk in time like that, is there? plus..when she said like who did ya layout an kat gose yukiko insteada the other person sayin i seen her blog, kat says it ^_^ tehe!! mess up!! busted!! i could be wrong...hey! shes been talking about me!! O.o an im gonna kill her!! ^_^ mwahaha!! cuz cuz i put up a link on the tag board on my name telling her to click it an, im not gonna tell ya whats gonna happen cuz she might be readin this, anywayz heres a clue, i got it from joeys blogy ^_^ mwahaha!! die!!hmm..anyway sorry for trixa cuz im not gonna blog about what she thought i probably would cuz i have a dilemma...my otousan wants my diary address so he can put it up at work O.o!!! kyaaa!! *Faintu* ^_^' do i have to? i mean..its a lil girls diary....advertised in the servaying office....bit strange ne? plus i speak all this nihongo!! daisuki!! ^_^tehe, im thinking of making a seperate page for all the...koi talk ^_^ tehe ya know what i mean right? there are diff words ta say it, koi, ai, suki..^_^ ya get the idea. but koi.pitas is already taken, so i donno. hmm..this is a holiday, im not going to think about my koi problems..an no more talk of the one i talked about yesterday was it? cuz his dad works wit my dad afterall ^_^. oh oh..i was thinking of setting up a webpage wit fateback.com cuz they sound good, 60mb ftp access, and itd be urname.fateback.com kinda like pitas so like nun of that gobledeepgoop like angelfire.lycos.com/pro/kokoro cuz thats just confuseing ne? lotsa lil DOTs an SLASHES ::shudder:: but i donno what kind to do. 1st name 2nd whats it about. i could start my dream...demo...sad thing is they dont support php or much infact..an i realy wonna use php cuz ..whoa is it good. www.xentrik.com i put the link on Trixa's Page if that isnt right. anyway..shes realy good xentrik, i learnt ..well...lotsa php..an hai i cant remember much atall now ^_^ but shes got very good tutorials on everything..its the site decended from heaven to raise us all to ipithiney of technolodgical civerlization thats beyong anything we can all conprehend out of our society ^_^ tehe BIG words ne?! XD tehe. umm...saa...i think im gonna..its free too..gosh..id bee good for an advertising agency ne? ^_^ tehe perhaps, demo a bad thing about fateback...saa..they dont allow hotlinking..as in linking to other files out side of fateback. shame. hm? i think my angelfie bandwidth is getting used up alot ya'know..it was working realy slowly an not too well today..perhaps im wrong..but wheres it all going? im gonna check it out.maybe its just my compie..mm anyway. i was hoping to have a quick update. this is already getting long ne? hai saa..saa...eto....eto....saa...iono what to say now ^_^ umm...eto..iv not been able to sleep the last few days....um everysince the party picnic...otousan lastnight said he couldnt sleep either an he came down an cuddled me for a bit ^_^ tehee i love my family..even tho i could hear my mum snoring alway down here..-.-' watashi to otousan joked about okaasans snoring ^_^ tehe oh i used to know the jap word for joke..i don remember ..it was in the book i had.owell. saa..im gonna mate ne, so...mata ne~

Breathed At 03:37 p.m.

Saturday, August 2, 2003

konnichiwa minnasan, gomen nasai if i spell lotsa things wrong. let me explain where i'v been. 1st off... Kathy has been wondering where iv been and im soooo sorry ;.; it sounds like u'v had an awfull day..eve tho how funny her suppermarket trip was! ^_^ tehe, who was it from school i wonder? speaking of somthing of school...well..iv been out with my dad. let me explain, my otousan has these work outings like a picnic there usualy at a lil feild with two horses, that belong to a guy an his wife. from work. anyway today they had it at whats it called..st nicholases park i think? umm..at the boating house where the lil konews r. anyway..i had a shock..an alil downer today. i was there wit otousan when i saw a girl in blue an..omg!! it was mikey from school! O.o ^_^ tehe i was o glad to see her there but shocked..i was like...m-m-mikey?....mikey?.."louise?! what r u doin here?!" an i was gonna say the same!! what r u doin here!? aparently her mum is the girlfriend of jerry, one of my dads work mates O.o this cant be...we spent the whole day together wiht a 7 yearold called lotty shes sweet ^_^ anyway.. everyone, work mates, wifes and kids, were all like family. an now *Sniff* mikeys gonna be apart of our family, now she has the chance too know so many ppl an forget there names ;.; its soo pretty...my school friend is gonna become family. however...i don like this. we were whatching the boys play giant jenga ..atchuly called jaques tumble tower or somtin but tis the same. an i say..hey? ben?..an i go..mikey his names ben isnt it? an she goes yea i think i donno. an i go..hey ben? ur ben rnt u?...ya see...me and ben have known each other from like i donno...since we were younger. but after the day we never realy remeber each other an it takes some tracing steps to remeber..but since last time..iv finaly remeberd him..i rememberd him so well..were like..such good freinds ^_^...demo..;.; he dosnt remember me, my dad says its cuz i have changed over the last few years since iv seen him ;.; i cant beleive he dosn remember me. i had to jog his mind alot.anyway..then i hear mikey say somthin...an i go what?..an then she says nothing an then i say.." wait a min..that sounded like...omg did u just say...did u just say hes fit?!!?" and i totaly agree..demo..this isnt right..i think pretty much shes just like met him...an shes saying hes fit..i nearly told him but im gonna keep my word of saying nothing. it turns out me an mikeys familys r closer than we thought demo anyway..mikey had to leave. and guess what...me an ben ended up the same way we always do by the end of the day. the last ones there ^_^ with his dad an my dad talking an the familys. an...me an him playing wit the blocks..an dad goes by...saying ey up..i remeber this...u too always end up like this. and hes right ^_^. its kinda sweet i remeber it. we used to sit on the boucy castle an talk but..he'd always leave then i'd go find him in the tent and we'd have a game of giant jenga then...tehe ^_^ well i said...hey i have a funny memory of us making somthing with these bricks..hai!!!! it did it!! he was like....yeeeeesss!! ur right..i remeber..but then..we both couldnt remember what it was..he said it was a house, hes probably right, cuz thats what i always make out of blocks ^_^ im obssesd..thats why i have the sims and an architectual programme, anyway..today i had...1 big glass of cyder..two bowls of rum an rasin ice cream, a glass of white wine..course id be feeling alil tipsy demo...then..it got realy dark..lotty went home to bed an it realy was just me an ben. i remember these times..but...now..mikey likes him an shes got me on a hands off thing..iv known him way longer than she has..i dont mean to seem jelous or anything mean. but..i donno...i rememberd some thought i had when i was lil...that i liked him...but i forgot cuz i aint seen him in so long ^_^ *sniff* im just..i donno.. besided i was too young then..but now that im older..i think...i think i fancyd him O.o just a lil....^_^.. an an..now.. well i fancy one other person..starting to fancy another..please don know what to do what if im starting to start to...like...him...ben. an an..im gonna tell ya. ^_^ me being me an hey its a miricle not many spelling mistakes ne? welp..i...had some strawberrys..an saw the same bottle of wine..i asked bully..the boss... if i could have sum..there were only pint glases left!! mwahaha oh yes!! i poored myself some "is that al right" nah ya can have lil more.. but ok " nah ok!! if u say so!!" i poored more!! ^_^ mwahaha!! tehe..then i went an showd dad an bens parents an this other block with them..an they were like.."!!!".." chrisy, u'v started somthing!!" cuz bens mum had done the same! ^_^ tehe i told her its not her fualt, i didn see her glass and..its dads fualt!! ur an horible parent ^_^ tehe...im ashamed..^_^ tehe i started messing around an i showd ben..ben got a pint of lemonade, they were saying how i had like quatre of a bottle..oh wait i didnt say yet did i..me an ben..ben lost the game as usual!! mwahaha!! said it wouldnt last long! and i ended up doing the packing away -.- but he helped ^_^ tehe, an..then he tells me..i think it goes in in 5s..>.< i was sooo mad! the rest the bricks wouldnt fit then he knocked the bag over!! i was !! XO!!!! i couldnt beleive it..we had a luagh , then we stood around..an ben was like..what?..ya know there looking at us! an i said..well ya shuldnt be looking beck ^_^ tehe...but he was right..they were looking at us..i wonder why?...ya dont think...nah..thats my own twisted mind.anyway..anyway..got the drink. ben had a strawberry in his lemonade!! tehe..he said it quite nice, the guys had tried to get me to put a strawberry in my white wine demo iie, i didnt want to. then..after being alil bit all about the drink..robert..bens dad...since i tried to get some lemonade an ben got he lot..he said let louise have some ^_^ tehe.. i was like...thanky u ben.. cuz i realy needed lemonade with it. i got alil bit of his strawberry in it ^_^ tehe, so i got some of the lemonade he drank from..the cup of marage ^_^ tehe! i shouldnt tel mikey about it, it'd be cruel plus then mikey would spred some stuff which i don want school to know about, ya know the dares. ^_^ tehe. still me an ben r like soo close r'nt we? ben hasnt changed much..i put my hair up hoping he might remember me better.. it musta slightly worked. but.. mikey..the whole hands off..i cant disobay my word..pluys it'd mean there r 3 guys in my life..plus..like..having three would be so dificult cuz..lets see..1st one i totaly feel somthing for,but cant hear what he says very often..dont talk him..see him every day,is short. 2nd one...talk to him alot..dont see him alot, is slightly short, talks alot about stuff i cant understand..is picked on by people an id get pulled into a heep stuff..even when i talk to him i do. 3rd now..kinda..the same hieght....talks clearly, he dosnt know alot but thats ok..didnt know what the word primative ment, but thats not alot bad, lets see..looks ok..must doo cuz i have strange tasts but mikey has fallen too, looks older for his age, get along realy well r like realy good friend demo..hes 11!! an thats hard to beleive when ya meet him..gosh..he...he dosnt sound bad...infact..theres nothing wrong with him..hes agreat person..but see once ayear and can never remember eachother intill a bit of joging..he hasnt changed atall..its just like old times...but i hope mikey can understand that..do u understand? or is a totaly mistake even sujesting the idea...hey he made funna me!!..about lou...he kept sayin it..lou lou louse is a lou...eeese teehee ^_^ its ok..we were bored...i swear he said..builders bum at me! but nah..he said he was saying it about every one in the room..i said..hey im in the room!! ..an he said..every but u dear ^_^ tehe. owell..we were bored!! anyway..got tipsy on wine an...bens lemonade..went for a walk..noticed that ben my dad an the rest were whatching me...i wonder what they were talking about..calle me back..i tripped ^_^' oopsy...an i said why..an they said thats why an im like..no no..im not..im not..just slightly tipsy. ^_^ tehe..ben showed out his scar..ya see..he had an acsident..its nasty looking..poor ben.. an an he was saying..it was terrible..but..im gonna move on..its in the past now..im ready to move on..its realy nasty..he broke his arm ya see.. i think he fell down some staires whilst he was on holiday. i said i felt for him. which..was that the right thing to say?..well i had a good time..i couldnt help myself climing up the slopy thing an shouting..goodbye!! an an...hey...he turnd around an waves an sad bye...he parents didn take much notice..aw..still..he waved ^_^ i do like him..but it feels realy strange now that mikey dose..even if mikey hadnt have come it woulda been the same but now that mikey likes him...im not too sure how to feel. gosh hes the perfect...one..outa the three...but hes younger..and dosn swear ^_^ ..i don like swearers realy..specily younger kids..an in perticualy.. my icl lil bro yuriko, hes 10..swears like...yuck..i donno..but its horrid. im sorry i couldnt be here today for kat demo..im not sorry cuz...i got to go to my...family..there all family. got to stay in a car with three drunk guys an a girl..but i was no better..tehe ^_^ it was all nice...altho.. a boat sunk..tehe they were racing and they had been drinking an..alil lean to far an splash! ^_^tehe they came back soaking but cheering! in the motor boat. we all went out in the motor boats to se warwhick castle..an the boys shouted out...hogwarts!! ^_^ tehe..it looked like gohwarts too..it was all lit up..so bueatiful an my dad missed it cuz he had drivin the soakeds home to change. still...a message to mikey..even tho i know she cant hear it, please ..iv known him..for longer than i can remember, please dont up hold r hands off on me..cuz one day..if iv still not..ya know..picked someone..there will be no stoping me..were as close as family an i hope u can understand..;.; *sniff* i don want anything to come bewteen us demo..i liked him longer than u have..but i was too young to see at the time i thought about it. then left it..well..i hope she can understand anyway..when i see her at school...i think i need to tell her that also that hes 11..an um..were gonna be family ^_^. demo..what to do. what to do...i guess this realy makes it a three. three. threeeeee!! argh!! sab!!!san numberu ofu boifurendus...its so difficult..hes family..i cant think like that..altho i wonder what they were thinking an talking about when they were looking at us..they were deffinatly talkng about us...aw just like old times...i'v missed this so much..but what happend to all the other kids...perhaps they got scared off by the singing i did last time ^_^ tehe..i sang at night whilst we were board an laying around on the bouncy castle..lotsa big kids..what happend to them all...im sure they werent there..i woulda sorta recognised them..but one was there..he looked about the right age..blast i forgot his name an his mums..letsee.his dad is david..atleast ill remeber that ^_^ had a great day..but it troubles my life more..well farewell ben to next summer, next year. hey..he understands the pressures im going through ^_^ isnt that sweet..he was saying..year 9? isnt it?..fwooo,..got any exams coming up?..nah iono demo..probably..come to think of it..aw, yea probably.........well..big..desicions.............big step!...yeah. aw ^_^ he talked to me about all the big stuff!. i like him...but this isnt exceptible these thoughts..but we've known each other forever..its only fare..isnt it? aw i donno!!!! i donno!!! what am i thinking!! im confusing myself again!!!....anywho, it was good seing mikey..she felt the same..she said she woulda been lost without me there..an she wouldnt have met lotty. hey wee got sweets! big packets! wow! every kid! an an..rum rasin icecream..oh alchylisious! don worry..im not gonna become anything..like alchoholic when im older..i can controle myself. well..i beter stop rabiting on..its nearly 2 am, saa..if i think of anyother problems or stuff..other than i felt terrible leting my dad go boaing all alone..i think he was realy counting on me konewing with him but i was afraid...atleast he got a freind that jumped in with him..whislt i sat outside the boat place...behind the bushes on a rock next to the river whatching them float away..thinking how sorry i was for the way my dad musta felt. anyway...he got michal to jump in with him. thats good^_^ michales good...could never forget his face..specilay since i always threaten to knock down his jenga..if he dosnt let me play..even this time i did..but i never knock down..i went against ben..hey the same as usal..michal would always have a tiffy with me..well id be the one threaten a panic attack..an the he'd finish an me an ben would play. mmm..the good old days, i miss the horses. well..saa..better mata~ soo...mata!~

Breathed At 1:59 a.m.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

konnichiwa! uuhhh..ok..i think i just saw a small lil bug go down one of the F number keys O.o... uhh...it cant get to these ones can it?! uho..aw the poor thing i hope it came out, demo...what was it O.o...ok im alil..er i thought i saw anothr but it wasnt it..so i think im seeing things! ok im gonna settle it as im hulusinating ^_^' saa..i just read 7 emails and sent out 3! wai! to my irl friends, iv never had so many from them!. and in my online email...well..all groupstuff...never any questions, comments..or even alil tiny msg through the thingy up there..it dosn have to be anything relivant, it could be somthing funny a joke..whatever..plz ppl! im so lonely ;.; *sniff* im not gonna use smileys today..toomuch hassile -.- demo..i'd like to get some faces of my own, i wonder how u redirect layouts, cuz i could keep this layout an stuff at angelfire wit all some lil smilys an stuff an still have it here without having to put verryyy looong source codes..hey i just figured out what src means ^_^' iv been using html that i dont even know what it al means..tehe..oh wait..img..guess what thate means! tehee ^_^ image!! tehee ^_^ well i dont have too much today. demo..im going with my granded to my granma and auntys for 2 weeks so i wont be updating about it since they aint got a computer..hmm..perhaps i could take my lil organizer thingy an type up stuff there an then copy it all up here. hey with this..what i call new life since the computer went down..im gonna make it the most! i wish it could be like a final fantasy dream world..i love zanarkand and all the lil things in spira an an an!! i wish it could be as bueatifull as there here y'know, yep this world is bueatiful but, if our technolodgy an way of life could be too then it'd be..*sniff* soo kirei!! oh how i negai..that means wish..its just please onegai with the o taken off means wish, theres alot of o's an taking off makes a diff in jap isnt there, like otomodachi..honourable friend..tomodachi freind..an if u put o infront of some words that mean somthin to u it can mean others like..o-kazoku..i think thats right..but that means someone elses family..but if i were too say kazoku, i'd be refering to my family...hey what is this a tutoring lesson ^_^ tehe, hmm maybe i could put alil more on that japanese tutoring site..altho without my book i cant..;.;..i realy wonna teach everone..hmmm is it iligal to copyup a book?^_^' i hope not, cuz im gonna do it oneday!ahh look at the time. well i should get on too doing things..before i start tutoring again ^_^tehe, i don even know alot of jap realy...or should i say..i donno know alot of Nihongo! ^_^tehe. okay dokay im gonna finish up here, i might update tomoz an thursday if ur lucky cuz my grandad might be here by then so, wish me good luck! um gonna help my aunty move out cuz shes been living with them for a bit whilst she gets a new apartment/house, soo...bai bai! minnasan!! for now ^_^. oh i do have somthing else to say, i had a friend called chandra i called him chandy an i havnt seen him in like a year..im starting to get worrid..he livid close to the uae ...i hope like...nothing bads happend to him..::hopes wit all her heart that hes safe:: well...hey i wonna show u somthing, if u do hold alt and press 963 u get this + simple plus ne? well use the symbol font type ,+ u get that! kakkoi ne? i hope it worked here...i hope the size wasnt too big. um hey an the heart one in the symbole is 4521 i havnt used alt codes in along time..i guess ill have to go searching and expirenting with my keyboard since when my comp was...ill..it lost my alt code file were i put everything i ever figured out, saa..mata~ finaly!

Which CLAMP series' random item are you?
Quiz made by Let-kun

Breathed At 11:36 p.m.

Saturday, July 26, 2003

{edit!!wai!!} Hey up!! i said id blog later an its only...wha O.o...i woulda said couple of min but now im just confused.ohwell..got stuck on one sitey!! hehehehehe! im starting a big obssesion this time!!^_^..sure i like blogs but it realy wasnt a BIG obssesion was it..so now...hehehehe ..wee iv had a change a heart..don ask me what about i have no clue! but ..im forgetting html ..i hope those work..im testing out somtin i know i shouldnt be demo...guess where they came form..the tagboard! i know i know totaly wrong, but they wont mind ne? they use it for the tagboards so hehehhe, im still good ^_^ O=D tehee angel halo! um um, i think normaly, u should do the mind test on Joeys page, i didn expect to be wit the 98% of the population demo..i guess i am!!wai^_^ i supose its a good thing! ne? hai! its good! oh oh heres Joey blog Joey Plugy Plugy! she signed my guestbook once an i never said thanks did i? bad me, saa..iv descoverd how kawaii joey is!! an shes a realy realy nice person!, an i think she lives in england an is about the same age as me..but her b-day b4 setember so..year ahead ^_^ tehe, oh i wonna meet her better. oh oh i wonder where bouts in england she was, i mean i don know to many ppl in england specialy that what anime an that, cuz thats kinda hard to get..well for me its not faire!! *pout*..oh someones just rang!! wai! the phone wrang!!..i wonted to answer it but im here wit u!..oh wait..noo!! im not connected to the internet am i! im all alone!!saa i wont be soon!! tehee^_^ i wonder what school joey goes to..hey do i spell goes right..iv been havin alot of typos lately..an i hope im not makin a blue bubble of myself wit those faces im putting up am i? do they work? wai we'll see!! ^_^ oh hey ya know, ya can learn alot of nihongo by looking at song titles an stuff at Anime Lyrics{DOT}com i think im gonna start a [dot] thing, lotza ppl do that now, an its kirei ^_^ gosh i feel diff..i donno..i guess, i found myself again ^_^tehee *was feeling alil lostu* oh yea i wonna get myself outa the *wee stars* habbit and into the ::points:: habbit ^_^ tehe, oh what was i sayin?..yea, i learnt some words by looking at the titles of stuff, i used to try an translate things years ago when i 1st went on my dbz craze cuz they had all the song lyrics an i had like lotza songs! oh oh don forget to read the last entry since i did a log this morning, saa..oh oh! one day i have to talk about my dream again..it has a name now.. www.yasashii-yume.net isnt that such a kawaii to kakkoi name! ^_^ it means gentle-dream! <--- eh eh eh yasashi ^-^ i learnt the word there!..gentle...gentle..easy..lighty...tehe^_^ just some kinda ways its used, saa mata! oh p.s hopefully i wont log again or todays gonna be a long read for ya! demo..i wont be compleeting my japanese language site, since the book i was learnings froms back at the libery but ill keep it up cuz it has lil stuff there, mata!~ have a ureshii day! {Anouther edit! but down here this time!} I made some peoms! but there my away msgs on aim! there so nice!^_^ u have to see them! when ya get achance take alook if i have one on or ask me for them! an ya can copy them if u like! i think ill put up a page wit stuff!! hmm some ideas for my master plan!! mwahaha! ^_^ mata ne~ for the last time!!

Breathed At 03:05 p.m.

Saturday, July 26, 2003

konnichiwa! i woke up at 9 this morning, its my weekend and holiday an i wake up at 9!!O.o why didn i unset my alarm? ^_^' owell, i got to whatch yugioh!!wai!!^_^ oh oh i never knew it was on at 9 on saturdays , i only thought it was sundays, oh hey hey! im gonna talk about yugioh now.
i didn see it from the beggining demo..yugi was dualing wit joey! an there was a big ancher with chains tied to there ankles! over the sea on a platform! an joey was being mind contralled by..whats his name..nareem? no no marik! wit the rare hunters! joey was trying to fight but poor joey he couldnt!! ;.; my poor jounichi-kun!! and and an he used the black portal card..(or somtin i don remember the name iv never seen it before) an yugi had to use the card wit the elfy lady wit the big blue eyes O.o she looked kinda souless to me, an she had a big mirror an cuaght the fire blast in it..an then joey said no!! he couldnt take it an he over powerd marik! an then it went into one of those sad moments *sniff* ;.; yugi was crying, he had to save joeys life an an he was gonna aim the attack at him an joey realized he was wearin yugi's melenium puzzle an wa slike huh..yugi how come im wearin this an yugi was like, "i had to remind u of our friend ship, so i gave u that, without that, u may not have got the strength to over come marik..theres not much time, as soon as the timer goes out the anchers gonna fall! i have to save u..im sorry..theres only one thing i can do..*tears*...card!!! aim!! ur!! attack!!! at!!....me..." an joey was like no!!!! an poor yugi fell an was still bearly there *sniff* an the key in the box opened to let joey out of the chains..an there was only 30 seconds left..an he could leave yugi..yugi told him to go just go! *Sniff* but he didnt! he got a plan...his portal card let him have controle of that all faithfull card that he musta lent yugi..the red eye black dragon..allways comes through ne? an he attacked himself wit it O.o kyaa joey!! an an he got up, an the key for yugi opend an he had 2 secodns left, he swung across an grabed the key an went to rescue yugi but the ancher droped!!O.o an an they both went down!! they were pulled under the sea by it! an he got yugi out under the water..an the gang got yugi up an were like..joey!!!;.; then...serenity...just before they had gone under when joey was swinging to the rescue..she lifted her bandages...i saw her face for the 1st time..her vision had returned an she got the courage to see again !! ^_^ an shes so pretty an she dived under the water wit joeys key! cuz he forgot it!!O.o but she saved him!! his lil sister saved him!! ^_^ shes soo kirei serenity is, an thats a nice name ne? serenity..oh oh then joey beat himself up about the whole thing as usual an triston was sayin how his lil sister looks up to him like an idel, an he was like no no! that dufus ^_^ tehee, the serenity was like, ur my big brother, i couldnt let u die, u gave me the courage to see again ;.; *sniff* just seein u showed me what true courage is..an she leaned onto his chest an he gaver her a hug..united atlast ;.; *Sniff* so bueatiful
ok thats over..but it was soo ;.; *Sniff* i just love happy endings, but kaiba was being stuck up int eh end as usual -.-' whys he like that??..i think i prefer his brothers atitude..mokuba is mutch nicer than kaiba, just as smart too.. well..saa..about the last entry i was gonna talk about my strugle in my icl net family, cuz me an net aunty kari were reunited wit my lil icl brother yuriko..personaly i think hes got his name wrong cuz the ko means duaghter -.-' but he wont listen..an he hates aunty an i think he hates me..but sheesh!! u try talking sense into a 10 year old!! O.o when i have kids for real..by the age of 10 there out the house or up for adoption!!^_^ tehee...just kidin..ya know im just kiddin ^_^ tehe, he curses a lot..i donno how he gets away wit pretending his 15. anyway, thats over an i give up...an right now..awy..i gotz a tummy ache ;.;..i aint been feeling to well. demo i mustnt think about it! oh hey my freind aoikun!, so i call him ^_^ don ask why..i guess aoikun from imadoki is my fav so i nick named him it cuz hes like a best friend...we even say were like sister an brother somtimes ^_^ tehe, hes got a blog! hes just started it, don underestimate him, hes good wit his net stuff, the layouts very..blue..hey aoikun..aoi- blue..tehe lil joke ^_^ here Aoikun Plug Plug Plug Plug tehee ^_^ just felt like doing that oh yeah! i was gonna say!...not long ago i hearda somtin called lawful drug, i read about it an it sounds quite good, anyway, pictures bueatiful, bishonens deffinatly classed bishi worth!! woo bishie bishie bishe! an...that wasnt long ago anow...after i discoverd it...it seems like the rest of the world has O.o is it just me? or is everyone like..following the same line of stuff?...in fact i don even know what im sayin..im spooked!!O.o...i find it..then go someowhere else..an theyve just found it..an then again an again an again O.o krreeeepeey! an now i see kyokos got the desktop..might i add excellent choice of pic ^_^ it was my fav too...but that reminds me...shes found it also...O.O is the wolrd on a one way track!!?...gosh..i sound mad..dose anyone even understand what im sayin? i sure dont o.o so i better stop this...oh an no i wasnt just following links from the page an finiding other people just hearda it ^_^' tehee just incase anyone was thinking that. anywayz..new sub..um..um..cant think. ^_^' *Sweatdrop* i have fingers ready to type but..there lost all over the keyboard! jgjeuiheihsjdniwenwqoijiweojfi3weres-home?knjkdjfbhj tehe ^_^..oh iv been downloading mir..the graohis look good ya know..oh theres a link to it on aoikuns blog. anyway...for about 2 days now ne? an i only have 35% an its been on day an night O.o..who woulda thought it woulda taken so long to download...281.5 mb ^_^ tehee lot ne?!..if i don like it..its getting unistalled an totaly deleted!!..well perhaps i auta stop here ..now i gotta find somtin to do..i think ill go read blogs. anyway mata ne~ i might blog later again..wit more usless stuff ^_^ tehe mata ne~!

Breathed At 01:42 p.m.

Friday, July 25, 2003

hey..not updated in awhile..but i realy had to think about this. ya see, i was feelin all sad an i realy donno why but then, i saw the street lights an they wee new bulbs an im gonna have to say about this tomoz cuz i just realized its 2:00 am!!!O.o an my dads just told me i have to go to bed!!! kyaaa!! an i stayed up last night till 3:00 am ..they donno shhhh..drawing a pic im gonna give to ian, im just tryin ta be nice ^_^ gosh i cant believe im giving it away its my new pride an joy...its my new best pic an the best iv ever drawn of link from zelda..hes riding volvagai dragon an has his sword an is about to swing his shied an volvagai is curled around an about to attack him!O.o its realy kakoi! ^_^ i hope i can do another one like it..wow my arts come along way. well im planning to get the mir online game right now an leave it running whilst i sleep..so mata~

Breathed At 02:57 a.m.

Breathed At

Saturday, July 19, 2003

konnichiwa minnasan...hmm..me tinks me startin to like ian..he looks good in dark green O.o...oh tehee speakin a green im listening to the The Brilliant Green j-band. Angel Song -eve no kane-..song...its nice ^_^ its good, i like em..infact i love all jap bands! i even like musume morning iv not heard alot of her songs but..i dont like the mr.moonlight..ai no big band...forgive me but it sounds kinda strange to me, it reminds me of those tap dancers wearin straw lookin hats..red an white striped clothes an a cane prancing about on stage ^_^ tehee, oh theres somtin i missed out about yesterday..i didn have the courage to say it but i'll it now....for one..i had to pretend i was..doin.."it" wit sound effects..under a blanket so i hid ^_^ tehe...very embaracing...but also...ew i had to kiss ian!! an he ahd to kiss me back!!...surprisingly i found him being the imature one an me the mature one..cuz he was like eeeww an wipin his face..at first i didn even think to eew an whipe it off...it just didn seem that..ya know. hmm im more mature than i think...when i want to be tho ^_^ tehee..i helped ian wit his zelda ocarina of tim game..im surprised he hadnt even beatin the deku tree..i beat it in 10 mins ^_^ tehee, an his lil brother was like..wow can ya teach me how to do that!? ^_^ tehee. i beat queen gohma!! go me go me! i wonna go back to ians house..it was very fun, i wonna help him beat his game,i might even lend him my half a walkthrough book ^_^..me a nice person..also he has men in black 2! i never seen that an we didn get to finish whatching it..so i wonna whatch that..but i dought i'll get to go round anytime this weekend..oh an another thing..this is also a lil embaracing..for me anyway.. #^_^# my own made embaracment face! not very good ne? um...whilst me an ian were sitin on the sofa..kat turnd around an was like..wow! i never...i never noticed it before!..an we were like what? an turned to se what was on the wall..an she like..oh oh..nothing..its just..u look like such a cute couple!!!! O.o *die*..i couldnt believe it..i move away ;.; gomen nasai ian...but after a lil bit he was like..i don care how u sit..so i went back to the posistion i was in..i kinda noticed i was alil bit...too close to him...his knee was touching my legs at one stage..hmm..think he did that dilibrately..well im not planin on startin anything..but...im taking a likeing to him O.o kreeeeeeppeeeeeeey..an..what if i start to like him more than nick?!..i mean..its got to a very high stage now an its realy close to bein over nick...but ..cuz i think ians alil..just a lil bit..how should isay..offputting...its not just cuz hes a boffin i don mind people knowing alot but he always has to say somtin smart..even nariate films -.-' but im kind agetin over that ^_^ i just tell him stop!tehe aw sorry..poor ian ..well...mata~ i dont have much more to say so..laterz!

Breathed At 08:17 p.m.

Friday, July 18, 2003

wai!! i had a fun day today, sorry i'v not updated i havent felt much like it. an i cant realy remeber anything oh yea! i intsalled some stuff! an i got a new programe called trillian ill give the address to stuff at the end! it combines all the instant messaging services into one where u can have everyone!! it realy kakkoi! oh today i went to ians house wit kat! it was realy fun! ^_^ im startin to like em both more! more more! tehee!! fun fun! got cuaght in the rain! we played truth or dare..an im not telling how that turned out!! ^.~ tehee. um um im going mad right now im listening to BoA Amazing kiss!! it so bueatiful!! specily since im playing it on windows media player version 9! i updatred for once ^_^ an its got this video thingy where it makes the lines jump to the beat but it dose all these crazy colours doin diff things an its so bueatifull dancin to her song..iv got it on alchemy random its the best! im going mad over boA now i have three favs..Hikaru Utada, Ayumi Hamazaki, AN BoA! woohoo!! ^_^ im havin so much fun! oh apart from i tried to hear what they were gonna dare me wit an i ended up hitting my head off the wall!! tehee ^_^ it was quite funny..bang..ouch..kat says they were laughin about it. ahh i have to get another BoA song.Well i cant put up anymore songs id love too but, i donno if other comps without the medie upgrade can play a wma file..cuz my comps done this werid thing an it cant play mp3's anymore O.o *shock shock horror horror shock* anywayz...oh i managed to remeber the lyric place for jpop an anime an games ^_^ wai! so thats a new one on my favs! iv also gone tibia mad recently..its an rpg..u have to get to lvl 8 in this lil town by killing off the monsters an orcs an u can buy an trade an talk to people an when u get to lvl8 u chose what u want to be..an sorcorer..a druid etc..then u go out into the real tibia world..i donno what happens out there since the town is a test to see if u can make it alive. ^_^ its fun i play it wit dustykuni we meet up in places somtimes an work together. oh i just downloaded simple and clean by Hikaru utada..wow its different from the one in the kingdom hearts game. it even has diff verses. "wish i could prove i love u..but dose that mean i have to walk on water" its nice ^_^ very unuasl layout of the music but it sounds so..^_^...mmmm..*sniff* hold me! whatever lies beyond this morning is a lil later on, gosh i feel so happy! ^_^ um have i got anytin else to say..hmm..notin that i can remember or want to say. im gonna try new music..in fact why dont i just download everytin wit a nice name or song!^_^ yea!!mmm..its getting late..ok here are some links for today. op op! my net mums on!wai! i havent seen her for like a year!! or a half!! an..i think my net bro is on suger..hes bein realy...happy ^_^ tehee. ok here the links just a few lil ones
Songs Of Japan: Listen!
Instant Messaging Enhanced:Trillian
Online Role PlayG ame:Tibia
ok well thats all i can think of at this moment, so mata~!

Breathed At 10:50 p.m.

Sunday, July 13, 2003

Konnichiwa!! wai! im back!! i dont have much time to talk, i had planed to update earlyer but..well its late now. so, my comps been fixed an returned..demo..its whipped clean, so i have to start all over again, *sigh* i'll manage ^_^ i guess it'll be kinda fun, an this time my comps gonna be more fun, i'v techy'd it up abit, it makes lots of fun sounds like a high tech futuristic comp, well atchully it might be alil stupid but ^_^ its fun! i'v leant abit about my comp these last few days, i got it back on sat, an..i know more than i thought i did. anyway, its gonna be more organised..it already organised...just needs files for the folders! ^_^...;.; wahh!! all my lovely squall pics!! *sniff*...i never do mush pic serchin anymore, i guess..i'll..i'll just have to do it when i need too, insteada fillin the comp wit junk. it'll be fine ^.^ startin anew..hmm...i have to stop myself from havin flashbacks to all my old files, i cant stop thinking about them, all these ideas then...i relize i don have the files anymore ..*sniff* i'll get through it. i just downloaded AIM...i'll be on now again. hey...im lonely..please send me lil things in the question box, it dosn have to be a question..it could be somtin stupid...uho..speakin a stupid..i havnt done my english homework O.o...i gotta design 7 costumes... an its bed time, way past bed time. um..im realy hurryin here..so..im back yay!! celebrate!!..i wont be changin layout for a long time..till i get back on my feet again, but...hopefully i'll be balanced soon...ah mata ne~

Breathed At 12:45 a.m.

Wednesday, July 9, 2003

Konnichiwa minnasan! hey im at school again! but its not lunch time..usually people would be at lessons right now however...^-^ schools finished early!! wai!! ^.^ an an! im one of the only ones left..and probably the only one..oh wait..i know that one of the boys have stayed, he told me but hes not in my ...MY...science block ^-^ so i wont see him!..welp..im helping my form tutor..head of science ^-^ *is all boasty* im in a diff science room right now, never ben in this one..anyway since the buses wont come intill the proper school finishing time, im left behind doing jobs, but bein good lil me! ^-^ tehee, i've finished all my jobs! i even wrote up a lil note for the room an an now they cant think of anything else for me to do. welp...anywho! i'll tell you about my day!. Heart attack!! O.o..well..atchully..my heart fainted..today i had to hang around with my friend ian..everyone..ince not many people like him..poor ian..they all keep saying were going out..wich were not..an an..thats so anoying >.< mou!..oh oh..i agreed to go round his house the day we brake up ^_^..woa! O.o i just heard a gun shot form tutor " i bet the bishops-tatchbrook pupils r upstaires...an *insert some name here* is out side with his gun..bang..welcome to myton"..luaghs by the other science teachers ^_^ teehe, oh oh anyway back to today, i met ian by the lockers, an i was talkin to some friends, about wether we had homework or not, an ian comes, they leave, an dani just apears.." hey, u in set 1 for everthing?"..me "no dont be rediculous dan!" an an..i soted him..."he" was there..i think he looked at me...oh oh he was waiting around but he was just starin at the lockers...i sense tention O.o uneasyness...perhaps he was just waiting for his friend..perhaps not O.o *faintu* i wish, saa....ian was there O.o an so was he..gosh i was in alot of tension..i wonder if he thinks im goin out wit ian?!O.o iiiiiieeeee!! please..don think that! um...ummm..welll...saaa.. ^-^ i saw him again..just down the hall..hey wait..how did he get there before me, an why would take a diff route..an that route is longer anyway ...strange, an then i ended up behind him in the line, with ian totaly embarasing me...talkin about how he eats rubbers!! O.o *faintu* woa gun shot! twice..what is that noise. well i dont have much to say now...oh i owe the libery 30! for over due books! O.o his is gonna hurt our pockets mweee ;.; not faire...my mum was like..hu..hu.hu..ahhhh!!! she looked at somtin else on the letter..it had the fee for buying the books also..which was 99 or somtin!O.o silly ^_^..well mata~ im gonna see if my email works on these comps. mata ashite~ hey! uh some ppl have new layouts! Sayurii Wit Pitaten
ahh!! Yukas changed her layout!! Kakkoi!!
Aly, i dont know her but the layouts sweet!
thats it so far, this baka komputer is not loadin the other sites now >.< school no komputer r terrible!

Breathed At 02:46 p.m.

Monday, July 7, 2003

Konnichiwa Minnasan!!hey..i still got the comp problems demo...im at school!! its lunch time an im on pc3. i'v never done anything from the school computer before..but i can only come on on mondays and wensdays..plus i gotta book so, if anyone wants to email me or somtin, you the know the days i can check..i supose i could always go up to the local libery an use the comps. ..demo..i never have the time. oh oh! i know..i..well my aunty bought me an amthyest stone to help creativity spiritual awarness an stuff..an..it realy works...i'v found the happy juice!! thats what people in my family say if you've never heard that b4...'wheres there happy jiuse calm down'! mata~

Breathed At 01:44 p.m.

Sunday, July 6, 2003

hey!! i dont have much time, im on my uncles comp!! O.O computer...!! i love u!!! my savyour!...hmm..i think im close to spellin that right ne? anyway! heres the thing...long story cut alil shorter.
i had just got the coloured bonjovi pics on disc!!^-^ head over heels when i put the disc in i started zoomin on it..an i could see him!! he had about a 3 pixel depth to him but it was still him an i could see him on the screen..anyway..movin away from jon..i went to my files to do some stuff..thought things looked a lil odd then..i had a message on my screen..a comp made msg...love...then..anouther and another...peace...an somtin to do wit bush an the jews...then...it said...donno if i should say the name here..it could cuase somthing...but maybe im lil to suspision ne? it said by zaCKER 3rd of the 6th 2003...i was hacked!! hacked!! not only did i have a virus..!! in the meantime i was hacked!!O.o just as i got my pics an an!! not only....the thing that was gonna save my comp..the copyer...i was gonna copy everything onto a real cd!!! usin like a flopy an save my precious stuff...*sigh* then it went! my whole system!! its in the shop right now..theres a chance it can be fixed..but..anyway..people dont email me in a while..email me lil things but only important cuz i'll check my email when i can. Mata~ gotta go! dont forget to tag..an feel free to use the message or question bar to contact me!

Breathed At 06:53 p.m.

Monday, June 30, 2003

[Edit] O.o in the entry b4..i mentioned the three girls...they werent fans..i just went to the official fan club site..and they were all talkin about it...they were fmaily!O.o jons duaghter..richies duaghter an davids oldest duaghter!O.o that was unexpected. ^_^ it was sweet still.Hey the fan clubs site is http://www.backstage.jbj.com i just got a lovly wall paper saying im all abt lovin u with jon all over it! wonder what dad wil say ^_^' tehe..i'll take a picture and upload it..not now..maybe by atleast 2 days..maybe more..we'll see night. hey..just thought i'd give ya somtin interesting..i found a sight for endland about anime! wai! ^_^ an it has nokia composer anime tunes on it..i recomend cruel angel evangelion its realy good..an..funky!! tehee ^_^ me bein silly but still..check it out its realy fun..wish i had a phone..if i get one it has to have changable cover an a composer! i wounder if you can get anime covers!? ^-^ that'd be kakoi ne?! oh here it is Nokia Blastin out some real anime tunes um um..i'v put ah my godess, rurouni kenshin, evangelion,gundam wing on my dads phone...and also..cardcaptors!! ^-^ imagin my dad walking around with the cardcaptors catch u catch me song going off..thatd be soo funny ! wellp have fun.

Breathed At 08:35 p.m.

Saturday, June 28, 2003

One for love one for truth one 4 me ...one for u!! where we once were divided, we stand united, uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuundivided, how many hands how many hands, how many dream have been torn apart..enough....enough....one for love...i love that song ^_^ its about the setember 11th i believe..anyway..can u guess?..i went to hyde park in london on saturday!! ^_^ i saw him!!...i saw him with my own eyes!! Jon Bon Jovi himself! *faintu* there were 92,000 people there..an i was one of them...an out of all them i think i was pretty close to the front!!..i wish i could have been ALOT close then i would have been able to touch his hand!! he got three kids up on the stage! an the lil she was so kawaii she had realy long hair in pony tails an it sook so cute when she shook her head dancin around! ^_^ oh oh..an he kissed them!!O.o..ya know he looks good for his age. one my friends say that hes about 40. he realy dosnt look it! oh i love his songs! close your eyes an see my blue skies braking through the dark clouds, u r the light! in my mind i see ur red dress an ur arms reachin through the night, i'll never give up the fight i'll go the distance! ^_^ its amazin all the lyrics he comes up with..the passion..his life ^_^ its all his life..all his experiences mweeee i love him!!!<3<3<3 he sang its my life ^_^ even though its the bounce tour..but after it all finished and he said goodnight about twice already..no body would leave!!!an he came back! an they played intill midnight!! they even played..baby u make me wonna shout, put ya hands up, shout!^_^tehee that was fun. an he sang these days..i love that one from his other album..he jumped from a 2nd story window, he just jumped..an closed his eyes..his mama said he was crazy..he said, mama i gotta try, dont u know that all my heros died, an i guess..i'd rather die..than fade away...its a realy good song.im listening to the bounce cd now. its a shame about all the waitin around we did at the concert..an then having to listen to some one called the lions or somtin an i got realy worried that jon had shaved all his hair off O.o..few..it was a diff band they could have told us that before they came on. well it was worth the wait. when it got dark me an otousan moved to the fodd area to get some chips an a drink..since there werent many people around that area..surprisingly u got a better veiw of the stage! ^_^ i think i must have got one picture that has the realy jon bon jovi in it. at least i hope...an i hope it aint a tiny didy thing. oh the stage was so bueatifull with all the colours...it was sooo kirei ^-^ me very ureshii about all this,he has such a unique an..strong..voice ^_^ i have the programme book..with lots of pictures an coments..for a programe its realy kirei too..an i'll treasure it forever. well today is atchully the 30th of june but im gonna change the date to 28 so i can always remeber that it was on that day, i hope i never lose my archives. i aint realy got a diary to write in ya see...this is my diary. hook me up..im reachi out for u..come on..hook me up..i know u can do it come on...save me..save me.saaaaaaaave meeeeee...hello...is there anybody out there?...i like that song to, callin out around the world....maybe someday might be tonight..hook me up..im reachin out for u..come one..make me come alive come on..take me on..save me...save me..saaave mee...saaaaaaave...i like that song , oh oh another song..a piano..anyway what was i sayin before i started singing? ummm..the concert..hmm.. i want a jon bon jovi poster..an a t-shirt..i'v never had t-shirt that advertises somtin..an..i want all the cds..an an..wai..i love him. there where fire works! whilest the fire works went off he sliped out the back ^_^..we got to the other gate on the way out an saw the guards an stuff an a car tryin to come out..one the fans she said that hes already gone..but if so...why did they pull the car back in an close the gates? ^_^...owell who knows. hyde park is realy huge..an..even bigger at night it seems O.o..ya could get lost int here..i think it even has its own lake or somtin...thats big. i saw 5 limos..all nice an white! ^_^ they were so pretty..shining white..with gold rims around the black windows . i wonder if the one that was cuaght in trafic was jons?...wow..why r there always lots of limos in london..i don think i ever realy apriciated london, its quite...different from the rest of the contry..i think i never realy saw london..apart from the place where people realy live..my aunty an cuzin line in london but its always smoky an..to be honest i think its kinda .."dump"..sorry...its just all the grafity an trafic an stuff..kinda greyt too..but this part of london..with the park an the fancy stuff..its bueatifull..an i can see why americans have strange ideas about us english people...there are hores everywhere O.o iv never seen so many horses....police horses! oh oh the bounce song..i'v been knock don so many times....call it karmer..call it luck..but me i just dont give a ...bu .bu bu bu bounce!! bounce!!nothings gonna keep me down..bounce bounce..im gonna shout it out..this songs realy..bouncy ^_^ call it karmer..call it luck!! bu bu bu bu bu bounce bounce nothngs gonna keep me down! i'll be bouncin back again! its about bouncin back! don let anything get u down!!^_^ bon jovi love to have optimistic lyrics they even say so..gosh if more people would slisten to this real stuff everyone would be alot more happyer..i think ^_^...i wish kat would listen to it..i think she needs..to..specily since shes stuck in the past with five O.o...*gigles silently* anyway oh oh..hes singing a song about the heart now..its aches..it brakes...it takes ur breath away..its a nice song. its called open all night...as in..these arms are open all night ^_^ well what else can i say..i wonna go back to the concert an be the 1st there!!..i wish..welp hes gone now aint he. back to his hotel with the gang. anyway...i had a walk rund the science musiem whilst i was there..before the concert..its a realy kakkoi plce but ...i think ya could realy get llst there..we did..we couldn find the cinema an we were late to see the titanic thing..its not realy my thing but otousan..he wanted to see it..it was a 3d movie! i never understood what one was b4 but there realy cool..there was this robot thing with an arm an everyone luaghed cuz it look like it was gonna grab ya nose! ^_^ tehe oh an this guy throw a rope an i jumped! i thought it was gonna hit me! thsi big huge rope was flyin at me! i wasnt the only ont he women infront jumped aswell..^_^ tehe..fun. well..i had a great time, an i learned to aprieaciate things no matter what the cover..an..the concert was..amazing!! it was realy worth it.close ur eyes an see my blue skies braking throught these dark clouads, u r the light! i like that its so bueatifull..one my very favs is everday..have i told u that yet? ^_^ donno im sayin alot aint i?.. well..minna-san..love bon jovi!! love his music for him!! an see a new dawn!! weee!! welp..i bought a programe spare for my friends mum..she loves bon jovi..i think she named her new baby after jon! ^.~ she said not to tell any one! tehe ^_^..an an she couldnt come cuz of the baby..so i bought her a programe an she was realy happy she payed me back an gave me some sweets with a nice card ^_^ shes realy nice, uho...my dads come home....an its a schoool day.... mhm..a schooooool daaaay an otousaaaaans hoooome O.o i missed the bus ^_^' ahe..he..owell..i cant hide i bet hes seen my shoes downstaires..welp..mata ne~! *wave wave*

[Edit] kyaa!! i got the photos!!..noo at nighttime there way too dark. ya cant see him *Sniff* there in black an white but if we get the colour ones printed perhaps u'll beable to see the lil figures better an the screen better..aw...since there so small u cant tell which lil figures him..owell..guess i'll just have to search the net for pics ^.~..mata~ p.s...im puttin this up with the new layout so theres somtin to read..(its a note to self kinda)..um...the new layout went up at...6:pm monday 30

Breathed At 06:00p.m.